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Calzonetti Consulting is Committed to:
“reinforce and add to a world where respect, safety and tolerance exist
SAME PLANET Same Team
Hate Cannot Ever Be Allowed to use Love to Spread Hate
We cannot allow racism, injustice and oppression or the symbols of the same to erroneously and insidiously misuse freedom and civil liberty to spread, inflict or perpetuate the total opposite of freedom and civil liberty.
All symbols and practices that promote or demonstrate hate and racism have to be outlawed and resisted if we truly are a just society that values freedom.
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It's OK to Talk About Your Mental Health Issues
Recently Dak Prescott, the QB for the Dallas Cowboys shared in the media his challenges with depression and mental health issues. Dak, whose brother reportedly passed away in April due to an apparent suicide shared how not being able to go out and see people brings him down, and how sometimes he hasn’t wanted to train for the upcoming season.
On Fox sports one of the co-hosts criticized Dak for coming out publicly and sharing his personal struggles. “I don’t have sympathy for him going public with ‘I got depressed’. It is dog-eat-dog. If you reveal publicly any little weakness, it can affect your team’s ability to believe in you in the toughest spots and it definitely can encourage others on the other side to come after you.”
This co-host demonstrates a shocking and all too common attitude about mental health issues, leadership and males being vulnerable in public.
Dak demonstrates “real men” and good leaders include those with mental health issues. True courage and strength is talking about your struggles and fears openly with others, not in keeping them to yourself and pretending they don’t exist.
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Understanding Our Unconscious Patterns and Our Fight and Flight Response
I generally believe we are born whole with a healthy spirit. Sometimes however we get tricked along the way by our “super heroes” (our negative esteemers). Difficult life experiences can cause us to doubt ourselves. Where we go from there can have life long consequences.
Sometimes feelings of being less than can take root in our psyche. In turn maladaptive behaviors driven by unconscious fears and an irrational need to control the external for ego survival can dominate our thoughts and behaviors. At home or at work.
The truly amazing part is no matter what we have experienced life provides opportunities to reclaim who we really are so that we can be all we were meant to be. If we don’t give up, we battle our fears and dig deeper with the help of others we can find our inalienable spirit and our inner strength. There all along waiting for us, never gone, just dormant.
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Ultra Independence is not a Strength, it is a Trauma Response
Connection and relationship at home or at work require a mix of 3 factors: Independence, Interdependence and Dependence. One of these may be front and center at any given time. An ebb and flow based on situation and choice.
In our North American culture we overvalue independence and control and undervalue interdependence and dependence. Typically, we might perceive someone as weak or broken if they partner with or worse, depend on others to lead the way in a particular moment. From a fear-based position we think control and independence will increase our safety and success. However excessive independence and control often bring just the opposite.
A mix of Independence, Interdependence and Dependence is a good thing.
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Leading at Home or at Work: Empathy is Not Enough
Coaching, parenting, leadership at all levels etc. require an ability to connect, to care about, relate to and sometimes care “for” another person. Important in all this is understanding 3 integral words: sympathy, empathy and compassion.
Sympathy:
Understanding what someone is going through on an intellectual level. “I get this is a difficult time for you”.
Empathy:
Experiencing what someone is going through on an emotional level. “I feel your struggle, I relate to it”.
Compassion:
Empathy plus action for the benefit of the other person. “I feel your level of hurt and uncertainty and I want to help you with that.”
Compassion not only helps the receiver more than empathy alone can, it also helps the helper as well. Compassion is more of a cognitive response, a decision to do more for someone than just feel with them. This move to action (your action and supporting their action) can renew a helper’s helping energy/avoid empathy burnout and make a significant difference in someone else’s life. Compassion (empathy plus action) can do much to help someone move past struggle and doubt.
SAME PLANET Same Team